Golden Anniversary

GOLDEN ANNIVERSARY

The best we can hope for during our short tenure on this planet is to leave the world a slightly better place, make a lasting and positive impact on both present and future generations, and share it with loved ones.  As my in-laws, Katie and Ramon Jereza, celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary over the weekend by renewing their vows followed by an amazing reception in front of about 170 of their closest family and friends, it was beautiful to bear witness to a couple that has succeeded in this task in a manner that few can proclaim and who have set an impossible precedent that I will eternally strive to grow towards.  It is not lost on me how unbelievably fortunate I am to have two amazing sets of parents who have been married for 48 years on my side and 50 years on Monette’s, all of whom have always been there for us through thick and thin, as role models who epitomize what marriage is meant to be.

“But, I ordered this meal because it’s what I wanted to eat!”  My first experience with the Jereza clan was after a swim meet in December of 1994 when I joined much of the family at a nice dinner at the Back Bay Seafood Restaurant in Morgantown, WV.  For those that don’t know, Monette is one of eight children and several had come up for the swim meet and dinner, as did her parents and kind grandmother.  Needless to say, being a freshman in college and meeting much of the family for the first time, I was nervous and intimidated.  To make matters worse, I basically grew up on farm food and had never eaten seafood before, so my comfortable options were limited.  The family was wonderful, of course, and made me feel welcome and at ease.  That is, until the food arrived.  The waitress put the delicious food down on the table and as soon as she walked away the Jereza’s began passing the plates around the table to share their food.  What was going on?  I had ordered one of the few items that I knew I would like.  I leaned over to Monette with a nervous stare and she whispered, “Just pass it around.  You don’t have to take anything you don’t want to, but try something new!”  That sounded like great advice, but I was also a young collegiate swimmer who ate about 5000 calories per day and could only envision myself not taking or liking anything else and getting my original plate back with little food left on it.  However, I heeded Monette’s advice and reluctantly took some of the seafood that was passed around.  It set a precedent that continues to this day, in which I am willing and eager to try new things, experiences, and customs.  Monette’s dad encouraged me to try some spicy food, which I have grown fond of, and I discovered the general truth that Old Bay seasoning can make just about anything taste good.

I have way too many fond memories and feelings of the Jereza’s to put into a short blog.  From joining Monette’s dad to play in the only golf tournament I’ve ever competed in which ended up being my best round to date, to hiking up Diamond Head, crossing the Capilano suspension bridge, and watching in surprise as hundreds in a ‘naked bike ride’ rode past us during travels to races, to them taking care of half of the swim team for days as we got stuck in a snow storm on our way home from our winter training trip, to the nerves of asking for their permission to marry their daughter, I’ve always looked up to them with the utmost admiration and they’ve always been the most generous and fun in-laws I could imagine. 

To say that Monette’s dad is a doctor is like describing the Mona Lisa as a painting, while factually true there are a few necessary superlatives missing.  He is a board certified internist/cardiologist who for most of his career worked with a team at the Doctor’s Clinic in Beckley while also working for Raleigh General Hospital.  There were countless times when I’d go to bed and he wouldn’t be home yet and then he’d already be gone to start his day by the time I woke up the next morning.  You mention his name around Beckley and you’re sure to hear someone proclaiming what an incredible man he is.  As busy as he was, though, he lived by the tenants he preached while always making time for his family and putting them first and, as Monette mentioned during the ceremony, always gave her mom a kiss in the morning, before he left for work, and when he returned home.    

But, if there was one person who could outwork Dr. Jereza it was his own wife.  Katie somehow kept everything in order, cooked the meals, and made sure to get all eight kids to their various activities on time, and there were many activities including dance, swimming, tennis, piano lessons, band, church, softball, and so on.  That alone could be a full-time job.  But, she also managed the clinic and ran their books for many years – by hand, no less - and also worked as a nurse.  She has always been very active with St. Francis de Sales church, as well.  Yet, what I perhaps admire most is that she still has always been willing to step in and help whenever the need arises.  Just one of a plethora of examples of this is when the school found themselves in need of a swim coach.  Having no swimming background to speak of, let alone a coaching background, she agreed to give it a shot.  And, she didn’t just step in.  For the years that she was the coach, which spanned over a decade, she went undefeated! 

Marriage is tough at times.  Being married to a doctor who works long hours can be challenging.  The trials and tribulations that come with eight children can put vows to the test.  And yet, the Jereza’s have shown unwavering love and support for each other over the past 50 years that the rest of us can only dream to emulate.

The Jereza Clan

The mentality and skills passed down by Ramon and Katie were on display as the children gave brief speeches during the reception.  Tina, who put together a professional-level slide show of her parents' 50 years of marriage, mentioned how the four tenants her parents stressed provided their children the ARMS needed to have a healthy, happy, and successful life as they were encouraged to delve deeply into each discipline of the acronym.

A = Academics
R = Religion
M = Music
S = Sports

Brothers-in-law (aka - a UN Meeting)

Each aspect played an important component in the well-rounded and well-adjusted children they would have.  Although, someone made a clever anagram out of it and said “sometimes, Dad RAMS it down our throats.”  That got a good laugh!  Katie shared her parent’s influence on her by making an insightful connection to how she always loved singing and playing the piano to One Little Candle with her dad and her current job within the Department of Energy working with the energy grid to literally keep the lights on.  Mayenne eloquently portrayed how her parents made their daughters strong and independent women, even earning a few of them nicknames along those lines.  Gina brought up one of my favorite examples of how everyone can learn from her parents:  their support and willingness to accept people of all kinds.  As she stated, it has been said that her family get togethers are like a UN meeting.  Or, some have described it as the United Colors of Benetton.  Their father is Filipino, their mother is German/Irish from New Jersey, and the immediate family includes white, black, Canadian, and Pakistani; Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Baptist, and more; democrats and republicans.  Yet, we all manage to get along as a fun and supportive family under the accepting guidance of Katie and Ramon.  Meanwhile, Ping, the youngest and only male sibling, gave an emotional and moving speech which caused many to tear up that started by describing what it was like to grow up with eight mothers.  One can only imagine what that was like!  He then continued by thanking his parents for taking him in and always treating him as one of their own.  Some in the crowd didn’t even know until that moment that he and Rozzana had been adopted from family in the Phillipines, largely because their new parents never thought of them as anything but their own children and never treated them any differently than their other six children.  Rozzana, who was adopted as a teenager, described how it was difficult adjusting at that age, but her parents got her through it all.  Betty was emotional and also contributed brilliantly to the family memorials throughout the day and all eight children exemplify their parents’ values and teachings.  The seven grandkids in attendance even got in on the action with Darren, the oldest and currently in the Air Force, giving an impromptu speech.

Mother and Daughters Dance

Of course, most of what I witness is in relation to my wife, Monette.  It is impossible to describe the respect, admiration, and attachment that Monette has toward both of her parents.  Not only did she have difficulty on the first days of preschool and kindergarten, as some kids are wont to do, she had the same problem starting college and every time she left home after visiting for several years!  Whether she was four or twenty-four years old, though, her parents were there to support and encourage her, knowing just what to do to give her the push she needed.  It also helped that she had the support of family that she could call upon at any time and who kept her company in times of need.  Monette shared during her speech how some of her fondest memories were playing tennis and, later, golf with her dad and swimming under the tutelage of her mom and the few times her mother joined her on the court or course.  Detailing how their influence led to her choice of careers, sports, and travel, and the lessons she carries on from them, she admitted that, “It’s something that I continue to try to pass on to my clients and the kids on our youth team”, the success of which I can personally attest to.  “But,” she said, “perhaps the most important value they showed us growing up, and continue to demonstrate, is their love for one another and their willingness to always be available to anyone in need.”  Of that, there is no question.

About 170 people celebrated Katie and Ramon’s 50^th wedding anniversary on Thanksgiving weekend.  That alone shows their impact and respect amongst various groups of friends and a wonderful community ‘family’ around Beckley that they are a part of.  Together, they have made a positive and lasting impact on many people, organizations, and the community at large.  Together, over fifty years, they have demonstrated what true love is.  And, together, they continue to set the benchmark ever higher for those of us trying to make them proud and follow their lead.

Katie and Ramon, Mom and Dad, here’s to you.  Congratulations on the Golden Anniversary and thank you for everything you are, have been, and will always be to both me and Monette.  May we all ‘Live long and prosper’!

Photo credit:  lovingly stolen from Tina Jereza Stamper